I Need You More

sunset_at_the_beachI need You more
More than yesterday
I need You Lord
More than words can say
I need You more
Than ever before
I need You Lord
I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I’ll be by Your side
Cause I never want to go back
To my old life

Right here in Your presence
Is where I belong
This old broken heart
Has finally found a home
And I’ll never be alone

Over the last couple of months  the above song has consistently been my prayer.  Every time I think I can’t possibly fall to a new place where I need God more, it happens

The lyrics are so simple and repetitive and yet they are perhaps the most powerful of prayers. For me, this is the kind of prayer I want to pray throughout the day, every day; it’s the kind of prayer that sets the day right – puts things into perspective and helps me keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.

It is when I meet God in my need, when I recognize my utter dependence on Him that I can readily receive His grace. And when I receive His grace it transforms me.

The song made me think of the woman in Luke 7:37-38:

’And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil.’

I pondered in my own heart my love for Jesus and what that might look like, and if in fact I did deeply love him like this woman had.

I wondered where she came from? How did she find out where Jesus was? She just showed up at a Pharisee’s house (of all people) because Jesus was there? Yes. She didn’t care who was watching, who might judge her, the cost of the oil, the fact that her hair would catch the mud from His sandals and her lips would taste the dust of his feet.

She brought with her the thing that likely had the most value to her and exchanged it for the value of the eternal grace that only Jesus could give. She recognized the value of only two things in her sad life – that was Jesus Christ and the alabaster jar of perfume

She praised Him in the highest way she knew. She threw herself at his feet, praising Him with her tears, serving Him by cleaning His feet with her hair. She was saying, “I’m sorry,” “thank you” and “I love you,” all at the same time.

She abandoned herself in complete praise to Jesus Christ in front of anyone who was watching. What could they say that they hadn’t already? She crashed their dinner party uninvited, attended by the most judgmental people in all of society. She knew she was about to do something inappropriate. She still made a beeline for him without batting an eye.

The room stopped. She poured her anguish out at His feet, and she could feel His love, acceptance and forgiveness. A warm presence filled her heart. She knew He had accepted her, an experience she had never known but always craved! Time stood still as she made peace with her Creator, the only Man she knew would or could ever love her. Jesus saw right into this woman’s heart. He knew she had given everything.

This made me think of my life, do I give the best and all that I have every day to Jesus? Or do I give him so much and hold the rest back for myself? Do I really trust God with everything? Am I really thankful for what Jesus had done for me? These are the challenging questions I asked myself as I read of the sinful woman anointing Jesus with her expensive perfume.

But she was more than a sinner- she was a penitent sinner. God had given her a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and this had humbled her at His feet. Jesus can see right into our hearts he knows our motives and our attitudes.

As I contemplated my own heart I wrote this prayer in my journal:
Father, there is such an overwhelming desire in my heart to need you more than ever before.
I can’t explain it
If I’m honest, I can’t even comprehend it
But in the deep parts of my heart and soul there is a sense of a yearning for you, oh Lord
And it’s because of that yearning that in the secret of your presence I know that you are my Lord and I need you more above all else.
So, in the depths, my heart reaches out to you and in total surrender. I place my life at the foot of the cross and humbly bow and give all I have to the living Lord.
More than anything it is about knowing you more and becoming a man who walks with God.
It’s having an anticipation for the things of God and coming before You in prayer and listening for Your voice and sensing the nudging of my spirit that comes from God.
It’s being at peace and resting under the shadow of the Almighty.
Father, I need you more

Lord, help me to understand to a greater degree my need for you, and the depths of your love for me, so that I may love You more!

Dr David Livingstone summed it up so well and I leave this quote from with you:

“I place no value on anything I have or possess except in relation to the kingdom of Christ. It is not the encountering of difficulties and dangers in obedience to inward spiritual promptings which constitutes tempting Providence, but the acting without faith, proceeding on our own errands with no previous convictions of duty and no prayer for aid and direction. Help me, Thou who knowest my frame and pitiest me like a father!”—Dr David Livingstone

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